Ladies.......?

Why is Panties plural, and bra singular....

The latter does comes in twos.

C'mon ladies, shed some light here.

The Straits Times: 50 years later

I make a point to read the newspapers everyday. Well,almost. Been out of the circle since the World Cup started.

After the second match, with an hour to go to the Brasil game, I was browsing through last 3 days papers.

I realised that there was actually nothing interesting except for the World Cup.No scandals, No deaths , No Opposition Parties getting sued.

Just wondered, what would ,our Straits Times headline, will be in 50 years.
Heres' what I reckon, I would read in my retirement years.....HAHAHAHA...


1. Finally, New Mediacorp Channel to air original local made programmes.

2. Mandatory requirement for Mediacorp artists to attend English Lessons.

3. Bush: US Out of Iraq in “About Three More Months Or So”.

4. Pierre Png junior successfully transplants his kidneys and intestines to some Eurasian chick trying to lose weight .

5. TT Durai opens 2nd Intergrated Resort in Kusu Island.

6. Malaysia Complains RM300 Per Litre “Too Low”.

7. PAP has a strong mandate.

8. Singapore establishes Space Travel.

9. ERP charge to space travel corridor $1,000,000,00.

10.Mass Extinction of Maggie Mee Goreng Remains a Mystery.

11.Last Living Singlish Speakers Found – in Perth.

12.New PM Lee Praises Great-grandparents, Grandparents and Parents for All They’ve Done for Him.

13. MM Celebrates 132nd Birthday.

14. Children finally freed from secret Neverland underground prison.

15. English Manager, Romeo Beckham guides England to the World Cup.

16. You can choose to do your National Service, online.

17. MacDonalds open new chain of garages next to their outlets, McGarage.

18. Karun S’Baram wins the Nobel prize, for the 3rd time.

The Happiness of a Complete, Contented Man

What makes a happy, complete man?

When his,

Daughter on the cover of Cosmo.
Son on the cover of Sports Illustrated.
Parents on the cover of Retire Rich.
House on the Cover of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous
Office on board a Boeing 777
Mistress on the cover of Playboy

and .. Wife on the cover of "Missing Persons"

Words Of Wisdom.....

" The past is an illusion. You must learn to live in the present and accept yourself for what you are now. What you lack in flexibility and agility you must make up with knowledge and constant practice " Bruce Lee

" Cowards die a thousand deaths, the brave just once " Shakespeare

" It's not the size of the dog in the fight; it's the size of the fight in the dog " Mark Twain

My Proposed TOP TEN Punishments for Avoiding NS

Government has sanctioned new rules and regualtions for NS,notably, Bigger fines for avoiding NS and more rigid deferment rules.

I don't undertsand. NS NOWADAYS is a walk in the park. I am pretty sure my grandmother can work her way to POP.

Young men who are AFRAID to go into NS should be stripped of citizenship and banished to East Timor

Wait. Make that Detroit, they hate our kind there.

Anyways, here my recommendations to the government for these SOBs, who go to extreme means to avoid NS.

My TOP TEN Proposed Punishments for Avoiding NS

10. Make them run to touch a tree in the country they escaped to, and then run back.

9. Make them eat the oldskool cookhouse food for two years.

8. Order family and friends not to address them by their usual name. Instead, they are to be called one of the following: “Guniang”, “Botak”, or “Lobo” .

7. Whatever their job, they must carry it out in their PT kit for two years.

6. No social activites during weekdays and cease all social activities by sunday 2359H.

5. Everywhere they go, they are not allowed to walk: they must run or march and sing songs

4. Order their families to wake them up every morning with Hokkien expletives.

3. If they are famous musicians, they must include a rendition of “Today is My Bookout Day, Doo-Dah, Doo-Dah” in every CD or concert

2. Make them watch MediaCorp Shows for 2 years, strictly, every god damn one of them.

1. Make them do Guard duty in the Isreali Border.


My Top Tens ARE getting better.
I'm on a roll.