Top Ten C-M-I S'porean Pick Up Lines

Was having dinner and drinks with some old frens. One of my galfrens was telling us an experience she had in a club where a local Chinese guy and an eurasian guy, wanted to pick her up.

Apparantly the chinese, better looking one, asked her IF she wanted to dance with him. When she said, she didnt feel like dancing, he said that he's gonna bring his drink here and wait till she had the mood to dance.

The eurasian guy, waited for her to finish her drink, approached her and asked if she would allow him to buy her the next drink, all she's gotta do was to tell him her name.

After a few laughs we were discussing cools ways to approach a gal, be it in a pub., restaurant , sports event,etc

I personally think that the perfect way to tackle a gal, is to tackle her in a way, indirectly, till SHE comes and tackles you.

Sounds egoistic, but you will know she be a keeper.

Anyways, on the drive back home, I thought of my 2nd TOP TEN...

TOP TEN CANNOT-MAKE-IT SINGAPOREAN PICK UP LINES.

10. Can I buy you a glass of Newater?

9. Hello, want to see my Fully Modified WRX with NOS ?

8. Didn’t I see you last week at SDU Headquarters/Communicable Disease Centre/Desker Road?

7. Weren’t you in a slimming center/Oxy 10/hair weaving ad?

6. Would you like to come with me to a Young PAP meeting?

5. Hello, What say we head down to HDB and apply for a 4-roomer at Sengkeng..

4. My handphone is smaller and newer than his.

3. Let’s go to my house and watch reruns of Triple Nine.

2. Hurry up, go out with me. I only put 50 cent coupon.

And the No.1 CMI S'porean Pick UP line is............
.............

1. Go out with me and I'll promise to give you part of my liver.

Clothes

You know we have to be very thankful for clothes. Cos, they earned citations for us.
People always come to you and go ,

" Nice Tie, Nice Shoes, Nice shirt....

Rarely people come to you and go " Nice person.. "

In fact, it's aimed at the clothes not you, they could be hating your guts for all you know.Wearing a nice shirt does'nt mean that you are also a NICE guy.

Clothes have it all.We really have to appreciate them.

Next time, when you see someone you hate , its totally OK for you to,

" You God Damn son of a Bitch! I hope you die and rot in hell, You asshole!!"
" By the way, that's a very nice shirt! How much did you pay for that .. "

Totally OK.

My 1st Top Ten - Innovative ways to order a Pizza

Well, I ordered a pizza last Sunday, having ordered before, the lady at the end read back my address, and I confirmed it.

I waited for an hour and a half, getting real hungry, decided to call and check on my pizza. And I was shocked to hearwhen the lady, very politely, said that someone from my address had accepted the pizza 15 mins ago. I told her, politely, that I do not stay in a mansion, and I WOULD know if a pizza was delivered at my place.

After, 15 mins, the lady called back apologised for the confusion, never explained why, and offered me a free pizza on my next order.

So about 2 hours later, while eating my pizza, I cam up with my very own, 1st Top Ten..

Top Ten Innovative Ways to Order a pizza

1. Ask them if you can keep the box. When they say yes, break into tears and go, “Thank you! Thank you so much! God bless you!” etc.

2. Ask to see a menu.

3. Ask them to confirm exactly how many dolphins had to be killed in order to make your pizza.

4. When they repeat your order back to you, change it slightly. Do this three or four times.

5. Order a slice.

6. Ask what the order taker is wearing, and when he or she answers, go, “Mmmm.”

7. In sign language. Over the phone.

8. Tell the order taker to speak very softly, because the “Opposition Party” are tapping your line.

9. Ask them to hold on, then shout in a child’s voice, “Mummy, can borrow me fifty loller buy pizza?”

10. Pretend the pizza hotline is the NKF donation line, and ask the pizza guy to do ridiculous and unhealthy stunts before you hand over your money

Well,I thought of A few more ..and here it is....

11. Terminate the call with " This Order will self destruct in 5 seconds " Fake a explosion sound.

12. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.

13. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

Women and Perfume

Women always have perfume, no matter how ugly, fat, geeky or pimply, they have perfume. It's like a package. If u are a woman , besides a bra,you gotta have the perfume.

BUt never quite understood why they always hit the perfumes on the inside of thier wrist.Women are convinced that this is the most action-packed area that could ever happen. Forget the neck and chest, gotta put some on the inside of the wrist.

Why ladies, what is happening there?

Is that, in case you slap a guy...he still finds you attractive and intriguing....

---SLAPP!!---

He turns back. " Oh..... Chanel"

The Hare and the Tortoise - Part 2

Interesting read, had to share with those who read this outta-this-world blog.

The disappointed hare realised that he lost the race because he was overconfident, careless and lazy. So he challenged the tortoise to another race. The tortoise agreed. This time, the hare ran without stopping from start to finish. He won by several miles.

Moral: Fast and consistent will always beat the slow and steady. It's good to be slow and steady, but it is better to be fast and consistent.

Time for the tortoise to do some thinking. He realised that he could never beat the hare in the race the way it was currently formatted. Then he had a flash. He challenged the hare to another race, but on a different route. They started off. The hare ran at a fast pace without stopping until he came to a river. The finishing line was still a couple of kilometres away on the other side of the river. While the hare sat there wondering what to do, the tortoise arrived, swam across the river and finished the race.

Moral: Identify your core competency and then change the playing field to suit it.

The hare and the tortoise had become good friends by now and they did some thinking together. They decided to run the race again, but as a team. This time, the hare carried the tortoise till the river bank. Then, the tortoise took over and swam across with the hare on his back. On the opposite bank, the hare again carried the tortoise and they reached the finishing line together. They both felt a great sense of happiness, camaraderie and success.

Moral: Working as a team and harnessing each other's core competencies, you perform above par.

Note that neither the hare nor the tortoise gave up after failure. Failure is an event, it is never permanent. Further, when instead of a rival, we compete against the situation, we perform better.