Thursday, January 17, 2008

Top Ten Signs No One Wants To Be Your Valentine

It's Here...
Saint Valentine's is a saints day commemorating Saint Valentine on February 14.
It is the traditional day on which lovers express their love for each,expressively sending cards, flowers, diamonds and all things bling.

The holiday is named after two men, both Christian martyrs among the numerous Early Christian martyrs named Valentine. The day became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished.

(correct me if i am wrong)

I am sick and tired to see gals carrying flowers, Teddys in Orchard Road on Vday.
True Love is like Sunshine, All round, All the Time.
It's always there, we NEED to seek it.
To Glorify your love on V-day, I believe is a marketing ploy by Gift Shops.
So, on Feb 14 instead of giving overpriced flowers, chocolates and candies to your loved ones, Ignore the day totally, experience each other just like any other day.

And if you feel like giving, give to the Needy : The Underpreveilage, The Physically Challenged, The Old Folks and donate to the SPCA!

Yes..Yes...to all the ladies who are reading this...I am THAT guy your mummy warned you about.

Nuff Said. Here's my Top Ten

Top Ten Signs No One Wants To Be Your Valentine

10. Phone sex operators keep hanging up on you

9. TCS is starting a new show about you: "S'pore's Least Wanted Idol"

8. You get a heart-shaped box filled with angry hornets

7. You're taking private tutorials on relationships with Britney Spears

6. You have one of them handsome beards--and you're a woman!

5. The last time you got laid was when LKY had Hair

4. Your Dressing and Hair is styled after Tony Tan

3. You spend your vacation collecting Hello Kitty Toys

2. The Pope asks you for tips on celibacy

1. Your Blog address is www.wolfworldnow.blogspot.com

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Encore 2008 - WE! can make a difference

Strangely, I had a same chat with someone today, I had with one of my mates a year ago.

Talk about Deja Vu.

That day it inspired me to post this.....

WE! can make a difference

Oil prices.Speculation is that it would be $2 per litre by the end of the year.
An epidemic of a situation, in biblical proportions?

Nostradumus foresaw this.

I was just thinking about this and it came to me, the hypothesis is rather long, but it explains itself. Lets look a typical everyday situation...

Lets say an average man, eats two eggs each morning for breakfast.
When he goes to the grocery store he pays $1.50 a dozen.
Since a dozen eggs won't last a week he would normally buy two dozens at a time.
One day while buying eggs the dude notices that the price has risen to $1.80 cents.
The next time he buys groceries, eggs are $1.85 cents a dozen.

When asked to explain the price of eggs the store owner says that
the price has gone up and he had to raise his price accordingly.

Now This store buys 100 dozen eggs a day. He also find out that all the distributors have raised their prices.

The distributors have begun to buy from the huge egg farms.
The small egg farms have been driven out of business.
The huge egg farms sell 100,000 dozen eggs a day to distributors.
With no competition, they can set the price as they see fit.
The distributors then have to raise their prices to the grocery stores.
And on and on and on.

As the dude kept buying eggs the price kept going up.
Demand.
He saw the big egg trucks delivering 100 dozen eggs each day.
Nothing changed there.
He checked out the huge egg farms and found they were selling 100,000 dozen
eggs to the distributors daily. Nothing had changed but the price of eggs.

During the school holiday period, the price of eggs shot up to $2.00 a dozen.
Again he asked the grocery owner why and was told,
"Cakes and baking for the holidays".
Demand.

The huge egg farmers know there will be a lot of baking going on and more
eggs will be used.
Hence, the price of eggs goes up.
Expect the same thing at Christmas

This pattern continues until the price of eggs is $3.00 a dozen.
This dude, starts thingking and tell himseld that something has to be done.

He starts talking to all the people in his neighbourhood and they decide to stop buying eggs.
This didn't work because everyone needed eggs.

Finally, the dude suggested only buying what you need.
He ate 2 eggs a day.
On the way home from work he would stop at the grocery and buy two eggs.
Everyone in town started buying 2 or 3 eggs a day.

The grocery store owner began complaining that he had too many eggs in his cooler.
He told the distributor that he didn't need any eggs.
Maybe wouldn't need any all week.

The distributor had eggs piling up at his warehouse.
He told the huge egg farms that he didn't have any room for eggs would
not need any for at least two weeks.

At the egg farm, the chickens just kept on laying eggs.
To relieve the pressure, the huge egg farm told the distributor that they
could buy the eggs at a lower price.

Distributor now has a warehousing problem
The distributor tells the grocery store owner that
he would lower the price of the eggs if the store would start buying again.

The grocery store owner says,
"I don't have room for more eggs.The customers are only buying 2 or 3 eggs at a time.Now if you were to drop the price of eggs back down to the original price,
the customers would start buying by the dozen again".

The distributors sent that proposal to the huge egg farmers but the egg
farmers liked the price they were getting for their eggs but, those
chickens just kept on laying. Finally, the egg farmers lowered the
price of their eggs. But only a few cents.

The customers still bought 2 or 3 eggs at a time.

Slowly the price of eggs started dropping. The distributors had to
slash their prices to make room for the eggs coming from the egg farmers.

The egg farmers cut their prices because the distributors wouldn't buy
at a higher price than they were selling eggs for. Anyway, they had full
warehouses and wouldn't need eggs for quite a while.

And those chickens kept on laying.

Eventually, the egg farmers cut their prices because they were throwing
away eggs they couldn't sell.

The distributors started buying again because the eggs were priced to
where the stores could afford to sell them at the lower price.

And the customers starting buying by the dozen again.

Now, transpose this analogy to the Petroluem industry.

What if everyone only bought $20.00 worth of petrol each time they pulled
to the pump? The dealer's tanks would stay semi full all the time. The
dealers wouldn't have room for the gas coming from the huge tank farms.
The tank farms wouldn't have room for the gas coming from the refining
plants. And the refining plants wouldn't have room for the oil being
off loaded from the huge tankers coming from the oil fiends.

Just $20.00 each time you buy gas. Don't fill it up. You may have to
stop for gas twice a week but, the price should come down.

Think about it.

As an added note...When I buy $20.00 worth of petrol that leaves my tank a
little under quarter full. The way prices are jumping around, you can
buy petrol for $1.75 a litre and then the next morning it can be $1.55. If
you have your tank full of $1.75 petrol you don't have room for the $1.55 petrol.

You might not understand the economics of only buying two eggs at a
time but, you can't buy cheaper gas if your tank is full of the high priced
stuff.

Basic Economics. Think about it people.
We can make the Difference.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Top 20 Greatest Movies of our Time

Some of the finest and the best, I have seen.
(in no particular order)

1. The Godfather
2. Rocky
3. Star Wars series (Duh!)
4. Pulp Fiction
5. Lord of the Rings series
6. The Usual suspects
7. Scarface
8. Heat
9. Close encounters of the third Kind (still searching for the dvd!)
10. The Prestige
11. Goodfellas
12. Escape to victory (will kill for the dvd)
13. Seven ( what happened to David finch? )
14. Memento
15. Taxi Driver
16. The Truman Show
17. Raging bull
18. Full Metal Jacket
19. Clockwork Orange
20. Fight Club

okay....I had to extend the list!

21. Platoon
22. Reservoir dogs
23. Snatch
24. Blade Runner ( will kill again for this DVD )
25. The Trilogies of Die hard, Indiana Jones and Back to the future

To be Continued

You know you hate it when you are watching a program and right at the end, it says
" To be continued "

The whole reason that we watch a program or a series IS SO that we can finish it.
Find closure.
Next week? I have to wait next week? What's going to happen next week?

And the funny thing is, you know that the program is going to be continued.
It's already 7.55pm, and they have not got the killer.And Timmy has still not found the way home!

But it does not apply to live shows or when you do comedy.
You can't go
" A man walks into the bar with a pig in his hand....WELL! Tune in next week to find out "

Friday, August 31, 2007

Favours

Favours are measured with the pause in between when you ask someone the favour.
For instance, the examples
- Hey, Could you do me a favour and hand me that handtowel?

Simple favour. Difficulty in getting the favour :1/10.

- Hey, Could you do me a favour...Hmmmmm ( biting teeth ),can i get a loan of $500?

Not so simple. Difficulty in getting the favour :9/10.


Thus...The longer the pause...the tougher and more sensitive.
When you hear the pause..Run for it

OvalTine

Why Do they Call it Ovaltine?

The Tin is round, The mugs and cups are circular, why not roundtine.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

I ask thee....

--------------
1. Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know when the batteries are getting weaker?

2. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

3. Whose idea was it to put an "s" in the word "lisp"?

4. How do those dead bugs get into to those enclosed light fixtures?

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Signs that You are Obsessed with Baz Lurmann's Romeo + Juliet

Especially for you, Babydolla.You.
.........................................

- When you pass a fish tank, you look.........nobody is on the other side.
- You know all of Mercutio's dance moves.
- When you get a letter from a friend, you jump up and down and scream, "News from Verona!".
- When your girlfriend tells you to leave her room,you say "Will thou left me so unsatisfied?"
- Your standard greeting for friends each morning is "Good Morrow!"
- Thy's email is julietmontague@hotmail.com
- When you want to get away from everything, thy drive to Mantua.
- You play dead, when your parents want you to do something that you really do not want to do.
- You go around calling your friends Tybalt, Mercutio, and Rosaline.
- You plan to go Verona Beach for a holiday.
- Thee make a ring with “I love thee” on the inside.
- You decide to have a huge party with fancy dress and you dress as an angel or knight.
- You Forget Nikes or Adidass', you want a pair or Montagues or Capulets.
- You start calling every policeman - Prince

(inspired by SRT's Play, Romeo & Juliet )

Top 10 Signs that You're Not Superman

OKOK! I got excited about what I wrote on Spidey.
Wanted to. Another superhero. And it came to me.The Top Ten

....................
Top 10 Signs that You're Not Superman
10. Your application to the Justice League was rejected.
9. Your X-Ray vision only enables you to see through glass.
8. You fall over continuously tripping on your cape
7. Your home planet is still habitable, but your father sent you here anyway.
6. Instead of "It's a bird, it's a plane..." people say "What in the blue hell is that shit?"
5. A speeding bullet kicked your ass on the 100 Meter Dash
4. the Only Lex you know is spelled as “Lexus”
3. Lois lane becomes a lesbian. And is involved in a love triangle between Supergal and Catwoman.
2. Exposure to Kryptonite only gives you a ringing in the ears.
1. The only way you got the M&M jar open was by smashing it with a hammer.

( damn i'm good! )

Top Ten Reasons on why there will be Spiderman 4

Well, I believe many have voiced their utmost disgust and dissapointment about the 3rd installment of the The Spiderman series.

I thought Its MY time to take the mickey out of spidey.
...............
10. With great profit comes great re-usability.
9. Because Cicak man won’t be dubbed in English
8. Still haven't found the perfect opportunity to have Kirsten Dunst sing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider."
7. Aunt May is still alive.
6. Peter Parker will graduate.
5. Stan Lee needs a new solid gold yacht.
4. Venom is still alive and the non comic buffs need to know the orgin of the alien symbiote.
3. Sony already working on Spider-man 4 PS3 game.
2. Four villains = 33% less character development.
1. Need to break the record for the most no of "boh liow" sequels. (currently Nightmare on Elm Street holds the record, 7)

You know when you have seen a Good Movie when...

.............
- You are discussing the movie bits during Spiderman 3’s climax scene
- You shortlist candidates for the sequel with your friends
- You see the action figures of the characters in 7/11. Batteries ARE included
- The Movie becomes a literature subject in school
- The Movie has no snakes on a plane
- The story begins in Middle Earth
- OR The movie is set in a galaxy Far Far Away
- Jean Claude Van Damme & Steven Seagal were not in the movie
- Not a Antoine Fuqua movie
- Harrison Ford kicks ass in the movie
- Better still, Clint Eastwood kicks ass in the movie
- Even Better still, Marlon brando kicks ass in the movie

(inspired by a conversation with my mogana)

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

The Check

Went out for a fancy breakfast with my clients and colleagues.
Check came at the end of the meal, as it always does. Everyone who were having a laugh while eating just a few minutes ago...were now puzzled, quizzed..

Never liked the check at the end of the meal system, because money's a very different thing before and after you eat. Before you eat money has no or very little value. And you don't care about money when you're hungry, you sit down at a
restaurant, feeling all majestic cos you know, whatever you order, is gonna be served on a plate for you.

After the meal, the napkins are destroyed, tables a mess(ok ok,in my case la!), you got your chair back, legs outstrectched - then the check comes at that moment.

People are always mystified by the check.

"What is this? How could this be?"
You start passing it around the table and..
"Does this look right to you? We're not hungry now. Why are we buying all this food"

2 words. Buffet.A Happy Meal. (ok,3words)

You Should Have Your Money Working For You.....

My Colleagues were talking about yesterdays bull run at the ST.

Everyone says, well actually some of everyone, That You should invest. Let the Money work for you.

The phrase " You should have your money working for you "

Okay, I've decided I'll do the work. I'm gonna let the money relax. You know what I mean. Because if you send your money out there - working for you - sometimes, it gets fired. AND I certainly cant afford that.

You go back there and start asking.....

" Hey,What happened? I had my money. It was here, it was working for me. I was relaxing ."

" Yeah, I remember your money. Showing up late.Always Slacking and taking time off.I'm afraid we had to let him go."

I'll Do all the working and Money, you go zen.